Toughest or Scariest?

Jillian Michaels introduces her '30 Day Shred' by proudly telling me that she has been called "TV's Toughest Trainer." She even adds, "That's probably true." But I wonder. Is she the toughest or the scariest? 


I've witnessed her wrath on the Biggest Loser and no doubt she's tough, but I think she's cornered the market on scary. Here's a quote of her screaming at a 'loser' on the treadmill: "Unless you faint, puke or die, keep walking!" And that's when the cameras are rolling. Yikes.

As much as I dread her, I really pity the poor saps who have to face her live and in person. Probably the only thing as frightening as being her trainee, is being her employee and I suspect that the two costars of her 'Shred' DVD are no exception.


Each morning she introduces them as her 'two best girls' and I get the impression that she owns them. Anita is a tall, toned redhead with razor sharp abs and a booty you could serve cocktails on. Right off the bat, I'm not loving her. She has a waistline so tiny, I want to give her a cookie.


Natalie is a beautiful muscle-bound gal with thighs that look strong enough to double as nutcrackers, which kind of depresses me because I'm not sure I could crack eggs with mine.

JM instructs me to follow Natalie's moves if I want a challenge (rofl) and since she looks like she could kick the a** of a young 'Governator', I'm sticking with Anita. She's the one JM says to follow for modifications, which as I've mentioned in a previous post, are few and far between. 


Don't get me wrong. Anita is no wimp. Her 'on set' moves are  just less radical and she does girl-push-ups with me. (Only without the whimpering) When the cameras aren't rolling, I bet should could drop and give you 50. 


In fact, I don't kid myself that any of these 'girls' sculpted their body in 30 days. Just like JM, they've logged countless hours in the gym. 


But as fit as they all look, what is it about JM? I grant you it's her DVD. Her workout. Her show. But why does she seem so scary? Is it her passion? Her commitment? 


I think it's testosterone. There. I said it.


Oh please! I know that sounds unkind. But it's not like I'm accusing her of wearing a cup. The truth is JM puts out enough of the T-stuff to fill an NFL locker room. 


I bet Natalie and Anita could tell you some stories,but they're not talking. JM refers to them as 'buddies' or 'guys' during their (27-plus-minutes) air-time, and they don't utter a word. Neither one is miked and I'm guessing this is not an oversight. 


Did they speak on a previous set and get punished?  And if they had permission to speak, I doubt that even Natalie-who could drop JM like a bag of dirt-would dare to mutter anything other than a "Yes Sir!". 

With all the charm of a drill sergeant JM delivers the pain. She doesn't bring half the wrath to the 'Shred' set as she does to the 'Biggest Loser', but even with the beast reigned in, I see who she is.


Jillian Michaels is Alpha-Dog. 


And Anita and Natalie are her b*tches. And for the next 15 days (God help me!) so am I.